I don’t feel like me.
It’s been 381 days since I had my son. (Give me a minute while I weep over that number). I can count on my two hands the days that I have felt completely, wholly normal. This has nothing to do with good or bad days/happy or sad feels. This is about feeling present, consistent…steady.
I honestly do not even know what “normal” is for me. I just know that I don’t feel it on a regular basis.
Want to know one of the various ways I’m coping (or sort-of coping)? Vitamins. I know how that sounds, believe me. But it’s true. I take Vitamin D and B12 on a regular basis and they help…balance me. How do I know this, you ask? Well, I took a sabbatical from my daily vitamins (holiday insanity = nonexistent routine) and I began to notice something. I was becoming frustrated faster, quick to respond in anger and forgetting to think before I opened my mouth. This isn’t me: I am one thousand percent sure.
If I could say that I didn’t need any help regulating my emotions, oh how beautiful the world would be. But honesty is the name of the game, and if that helps just one of you feel “normal”, then it’s a good day. That’s why I’m here, after all. I’m your cheerleader.
Vitamins may not be the answer for you. That’s okay. As a favorite mama-champion of mine (January Harshe) would say: you do you, boo.
Don’t be afraid to acknowledge that you need, ask for, and accept help. Do it. You’ll feel better, I promise.
If you still need more of a push, take it from January’s man.