Grocery shopping. When placed together, those two words produce emotions that my limited vocabulary will likely never convey. It’s not that I do not enjoy grocery shopping – I do. It’s the numerous amount of people of which I am not so fond. One afternoon, at likely the worst time, I was at the grocery store. I paused in front of the cheese. I selected a brand, and as I was placing it into my cart, a woman stopped me. “Excuse me, don’t you know about that cheese?” I was completely unaware as to what she was referring. So I politely apologized and told her I did not. “I cannot believe you’re buying that. You really should do your research. You’re making a terrible decision for yourself and your family. Next time, think before you act.”
Okay I told you I would be honest with you, however, that story is false (praise Jesus). I’m pretty sure I would have lost my mind if that encounter had transpired. (Let’s be real, I would have cried while trying to explain that I was a good person and then just left). I told you that story to exemplify a matter that is all too real and all wrong – mom-shaming.
This subject is controversial, nevertheless, it must be addressed. Why are mothers spreading negativity? Is it to promote self? Is it to be affirmed or proven “correct”? What is the goal? Whatever it may be, it is irrelevant. The goal of all communication should be kindness. I can assure you that I am not naive. I understand human nature. When faced with adversity and judgement, our instinctual response is far from kindness. We are defensive. We become jaded and even more entrenched in our beliefs. How beautiful would the world be if we did not give in to these inclinations?
When done properly, sharing our beliefs can be beautiful. However, it is not our duty to tell others what choices to make in such crude fashion. Yeah, yeah, I have my own opinions. I believe in certain things and think others are just wrong. Although, did you ask what I think or believe? No, you did not. THAT’S the problem. We respond to other moms (or people in general) with our two cents when all they really desired was a listening ear. Even though we are bound to disagree on many hot-button topics, why must we share our disagreement with such hateful fervor? It would be far more beneficial (to both parties) if we just chose kindness.
I am and have no authority over this matter. These words will not reach the world. So why am I writing them? You, reading this right now, need to hear that you are loved. You need to hear that you are strong. You must know that you were chosen for your child – specifically you, mama. You are making sacrifices. You are going to be okay, AND, when you have the opportunity, choose to be kind – not right.